The Good Parent

There is a line in the song ‘Cats in the Cradle’, a Harry Chapin song from 1974, that said, “My son turned ten just the other day, he said thanks for the ball dad come on let’s play. Can you teach me to throw, I said not today I’ve got a lot to do, he said that’s okay…” It was certainly a sad statement but like most all of Chapin’s songs a real story being told.

I’ve often thought about the words turned ten… and can you teach me to throw… and my first thoughts were, ‘You haven’t taught your kid how to throw and he’s 10 years old?’ I didn’t think that was possible but it might be more prevalent than I would have ever thought.

Maybe they are teaching kids how to play video games instead of playing a simple game of catch with a baseball, football or basketball. Or maybe they think the kid will learn in PE or Little League or Pee Wee sports. Some parents under do it and some overdo it.

I can remember learning from my older brothers how to play the games. It was handed down and being the youngest I often get cheated on the rules part but I still got to play and that was huge. Later on in life they used to come watch me play which was only fair since I watched most every one of their games through their playing careers.

There are parents out there that want their kid to play even though they don’t put in the effort to work with them at home and will often blame the coach for not making their kid a better athlete. They will criticize even though they only go to the games and have no idea how talented their child is or how hard they work. Let’s just say that the many parents that criticize have barely worked with their kids and only see the good in them.

When I coach kids I tell them that the only thing I can guarantee is that they will make mistakes because they are human and humans are not perfect. Coaches make mistakes and parents make mistakes. Imagine that.

The one thing that we had to deal with 50 plus years ago was word of mouth rumors. This kid said that about their teammate or Billy’s dad got real mad at the coach because he doesn’t think his son is playing enough or should be starting, etc. The problem today is that we get on our computers and start accusing coaches of playing favorites and some wannabe athlete from 25 years ago chimes in saying that things haven’t changed. ‘I had to put up with the same stuff.’ Social media talk is cheap.

I’ve told this story before but it bears repeating. When I was a freshman basketball player, I was disappointed with my playing time and I was complaining to my dad on our trip home. When he stopped the car in the driveway he said you have two choices and quitting the team is not one of them. The two choices are to practice like you have been and you will play the same amount as you are now. The second choice is to work harder than anyone else and get noticed by your coach. At that point in time he will have no other choice than to play you and when you get in the game play that hard and make every second matter.

It’s interesting but what he said was true. Once I started making things happen in practice my playing time increased even to the point of starting a few games, which at my height was pretty good!

I will say this about my dad; he never talked to a coach about my playing time. He watched the games and cheered for the other kids on the team as much as he did for me. He understood that if somebody was playing better than me they needed to be on the football field or basketball court. But he also wanted my team to win. And winning without me playing was probably more important than losing with me playing. Go figure! I look back on those times and appreciate that I had good, supportive parents. But I also had to work hard to make them proud of me.

— Dale Anderson is a sports columnist from Ritzville. To contact him, email [email protected].