Winter so cold blood 'thicklicated'

“Boys, I gotta tell you,” said our old pal Windy Wilson, “This cold transmits me reversely to the winter of ’47. Cold? It thicklicated your blood so much you could hardly walk. You remember it, Doc? Ol’ Miller at the dairy had to ignitiolize a fire under the milk separator to liquinate it. Why, even the dickie birds got refrigelated up and crashed!

“You boys know about them engine heatilations, right? Well, it was so cold we were obligatored to pre-heat the blamed firewood before we could burn it. Diesel trucks were immobilating up at sixty miles an hour and it still took them a mile and a hal...