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  • Doctor says old age brings aches and pains

    Slim Randles|Updated Nov 25, 2024

    There is a payoff, Doc told us, for getting the aches and pains of old age. Doc should know. We have it on good authority that he is actually older than a flat, brown rock. “Sure,” said Doc, in his usual cheerful way. “You get gray hair, or maybe kinda bald like ol’ Steve here, and you develop wisdom, which we all know just means you know not to argue with your wife, right? So then what happens? Your grandchildren think you have all the answers.” Doc leaned over conspiratorially. “I LIVE to embarrass my grandchildr...

  • President of the United States for a single day

    Slim Randles|Updated Nov 5, 2024

    Ah … politics! If you’re a responsible American, as I often pretend to be, you’ll have watched and read and listened to as much hogwash on every side of every question ad nauseum, and we’ll all troop to the polls, read the names and say “Is this the best you guys can do for candidates?” And then we’ll vote, anyway. And that’s why I’d like to suggest March 4 as a new national holiday, it being the entire term of the only non-toxic President of the United States. His name was David Rice Atchison, who later on had Atchison, Kan...

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